How parents can talk to their child about cyberbullies

Why talking about cyberbullies matters

(originally published September 2021, updated July 2025)

Cyberbullies target children and teens through phones, messaging apps, social media, and online games, often in ways that are difficult to spot and even harder to stop. What might begin as teasing or exclusion can quickly escalate into harmful, persistent abuse that follows them wherever they go. Unlike traditional bullying, there's often no safe place to retreat because the attacks happen online, at any time of day, and sometimes anonymously.

It’s not just about superficial mean comments, as cyberbullying can seriously affect a child’s confidence, mental wellbeing, and ability to enjoy social or school life. So recognising it early and having open conversations about it is essential.

Spotting the signs

Many children won’t immediately tell a parent they’re being targeted by cyberbullies, sometimes out of fear, shame, or worry they’ll lose online privileges. But there are subtle cues that might indicate something’s wrong, such as a sudden change in mood, withdrawing from social activities, or becoming anxious about notifications can all be signs. Some children start hiding their screens when you enter the room, or become unusually upset after being online. Even predictive text suggestions on their phone, like repeated use of certain words can hint at repeated distress.

How to approach the conversation

Start by creating a space that feels safe and calm, so at home is an obvious option. If you suspect your child is facing cyberbullies, avoid jumping to conclusions or showing anger, but let them speak in their own time, and listen fully before offering solutions. Make it clear you’re there to support them, not to judge or punish them.

It helps to explain that cyberbullying is sadly common, and that what they’re experiencing isn’t their fault. Talk about how important it is to take action, but not by retaliating, but by gathering evidence, blocking the offender, and reporting the behaviour to the relevant platform. If the bullying is linked to school, or a club or team, involving staff might also be appropriate.

What you can do to help

While every situation is different, there are a few consistent ways parents can support their child. Stay involved in their digital life, ask questions, understand which apps or games they use, and talk about how they feel when they’re online. This helps normalise the idea that digital wellbeing is part of everyday life.

Looking ahead - prevention and resilience

Even after the bullying stops, emotional wounds may remain, so building your child’s confidence is just as important as stopping the abuse. Reinforce their strengths, let them know they’re loved and valued, and help them learn how to respond with calm and self-assurance if it ever happens again.

It’s also worth having regular conversations about what respectful, safe online behaviour looks like, whether they’re on the receiving end or witnessing someone else being targeted. Teaching empathy and setting clear expectations around screen time, privacy, and online conduct can go a long way toward prevention.

It's important to take action against cyberbullies

Cyberbullies thrive in silence, but when children know they can turn to a parent, that silence breaks. You don’t need to be an expert in social media or cybersecurity to protect your child, you just need to be present, informed, and open. Together, we can create an online world that feels safer, healthier, and more supportive for every young person growing up in it.